Rope-a-dope

Gen Rick Hillier scored some points for humour in a widely-carried Reuters piece yesterday:

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three meter) high marijuana plants.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said on Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices ... and as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

There was a time when the soldiers would have harvested the stuff for the war effort.

Spinning American hemp into rope yarn or twine in the old Kentucky river mill at Frankfort, Kentucky. Another pioneer plant that has been making cordage for more than a century. All such plants will presently be turning out products spun from American-grown hemp: twine of various kinds for tying and upholsters work; rope for marine rigging and towing; for hay forks, derricks, and heavy duty tackle; light duty fire hose; thread for shoes for millions of American soldiers; and parachute webbing for our paratroopers.

As for the United States Navy, every battleship requires 34,000 feet of rope. Here in the Boston Navy Yard, where cables for frigates were made long ago, crews are now working night and day making cordage for the fleet. In the old days rope yarn was spun by hand. The rope yarn feeds through holes in an iron plate. This is Manila hemp from the Navy’s rapidly dwindling reserves. When it is gone, American hemp will go on duty again: hemp for mooring ships; hemp for tow lines; hemp for tackle and gear; hemp for countless naval uses both on ship and shore. Just as in the days when Old Ironsides sailed the seas victorious with her hempen shrouds and hempen sails. Hemp for victory!

I can see the problem for soldiers trying to make their way through the stuff or clear it - hemp is a tough plant. Tough enough that you need special equipment to harvest and process it unless you want to go through a combine a year.

Combining hemp provides a special challenge to both the combine and the operator. In tall varieties, large quantities of plant material are put through the combine. Hemp straw contains very tough fibres that tend to wind around moving parts. Fine fibres work into bearings, causing friction that can lead to bearing breakdown and combustion. These factors cause heavy machinery wear, high maintenance costs and a great deal of time loss and frustration on the part of the operator.

I know more than my fair share of military engineers, and I'd bet a month's wages that Hillier could get a couple dozen volunteers if he asked for a couple of armoured combines to take down crops in contested areas. In fact, I know a Southern Ontario farm-country company that would be up to the challenge.

On a more practical note: Hillier should call the RCMP - as I recall, they have some expertise in destroying pot crops. I'm sure they'd be willing to share that expertise if he asked nicely enough.

Update: Cornibus? Oh, my sides hurt. Infanteers aren't normally that funny.