Afstan rations

At least the French are the worst(?!?):

When the going gets tough, the tough trade rations. After weeks in the field, Canadian combat and support troops become sick to death of their packaged rations.

The "rats," as they are known, come in brown paper sacks packed with tear-open boxes and pouches.

Soldiers eat rations for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

And while the Canadians appreciate their coalition counterparts for their roles in the multi-national force, they are deeply grateful for what comes out of their ration boxes: something other than the same old chow.

"Whoever made that enchilada is a god," says Cpl. Brian Gibson, who prefers the U.S. "meals ready to eat," or MREs, to the Canadian "individual meal packages," or IMPs.

"You don't get as much, but you eat everything in it."..

While the American rations may provide alternative eating for hungry Canadians, the variety only goes so far: the MREs are not differentiated for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That Country Captain Chicken may taste fine for supper, but it's a different story when it's tossed into your lap for breakfast.

The MREs do, however, contain a high-tech heating bag, into which a sealed entree is placed, along with some water, which comes to a near-immediate boil when a chemical packet is dropped in.

Canadian troops carry a water-heating unit, but seldom have time to use it.

Their freeze-dried rice, if it's not consigned to the trash fire, is eaten al dente.

"A lot of times we'll just dump water in the rice to soften it up, then we just end up pouring it in the meal," says Private Jody Salway. "It's like eating sand, crunch, crunch, crunch."..

At a British patrol base in Helmand province, Canadian troops set up their encampment on the fringes of the British and other coalition forces for two nights, after the Brits had run short on rations while under fire virtually every day and night for two weeks.

Each evening the Canadians spent at the base, the same British soldier came by with some none-too-hearty U.K. ration packs, hoping to make a trade.

Cpl. Shawn Hofman has little love for the measly British meals, but he felt sorry for the food-deprived paratrooper. "They don't get re-supplied that often. They were freakin' eating scraps," Hofman says.

Hofman traded three Canadian meal packages for one three-meal British package that's supposed to supply all the days' meals but is about the size of one Canadian ration pack.

"Their rations suck," Hofman says.

But it's a country renowned for its cuisine that sends its troops to war with the least-appetizing meals, according to Cpl. Wes Spencer.

"The worst rations are the French rations," Spencer says. "I wouldn't give it to the Taliban — I'm sure there's a law somewhere in the Geneva Convention against slowly poisoning the enemy."..